I trained for my first ultramarathon while starting a PhD and launching a business. Looking back, that sounds absolutely insane – three massive, life-changing goals all at once. But here’s what’s funny: I wasn’t doing it because I felt strong and capable. I was doing it because I felt mentally weak and wanted to prove to myself that I could do hard things.
The irony? Through the process of trying to become someone who could handle difficult challenges, I discovered I had always been that person. I just needed to put myself in the right environment to see it.
When I think about who I am at my core, I see two distinct versions of myself. There’s the confident, excited, life-chasing 15-year-old running through my hometown, dreaming big and believing she’s truly made for great things. She knows she can do difficult things.
Then there’s the girl crying in the parking lot before the first day of her master’s program, convinced they made a mistake admitting her. The girl throwing up at the starting line of an ultra because there’s no way she could possibly do what she’s about to attempt.
I’ve lived with this contradiction my entire life – extreme self-doubt paired with relentless work ethic, always pushing myself to the limit to prove something to myself.
During my first 50-mile race, I spent the entire day terrified of reaching “The Rock Garden” – a notoriously difficult 10-mile section near the end. I was racing against sunset, convinced I’d get there in the dark, trip over rocks, and fail spectacularly.
But something magical happened in those final 10 miles. Instead of arriving late and stumbling in darkness, I got there early with sunlight streaming through the trees. The rocks weren’t that bad. And I was actually strong and capable and powerful, running hard when I thought I’d be crawling.
Those 10 miles were some of the most transformative of my entire life. It was like shedding layers of self-doubt like a snake sheds skin. I was coming off a really hard season – my grandmother had passed away, and I almost didn’t run the race because despite all my training, I didn’t trust it. I didn’t think I was ready.
But I was. And crossing that finish line showed me exactly the kind of person I was. I needed to see that version of myself.
The following year, I signed up for my first 100K, thinking, “Okay, THIS is the race that will break me. This is where I’ll discover my limits.”
Except I never broke. It was hard – I was cold, tired, and challenged immensely. But there wasn’t a single moment where I felt like I was going to shatter. Instead, I found out that I am exactly who I say I am, even in the depths of suffering and exhaustion.
It’s funny how that pattern repeated: me questioning who I was, setting a bigger, scarier goal, and then realizing I was exactly who I thought I was all along. But I had to go out there in the dark, in the middle of the night, pushing those edges to truly know it.
Training for ultramarathons, getting a PhD, starting a business – they all require the same thing: unwavering trust in the process and in yourself. It was never the goal itself that made me strong and capable. I had always been the type of person who does hard things. I just needed challenges big enough to reveal that truth.
The real transformation happens in all the unglamorous work between setting the goal and achieving it. Every training run, every research session, every small business decision taught me to trust myself more. I learned I was someone who shows up for her goals, keeps promises to herself, and does the work required to achieve what she sets out to do.
That’s how you build self-efficacy – not by immediately believing you can do something, but by proving it to yourself through consistent action over time.
Here’s something important: if your goals don’t terrify you, you’re probably not setting them big enough. People often think that feeling nervous, doubtful, or scared about a goal means they’re not capable of achieving it. That’s completely backwards.
You’re supposed to doubt whether you can run your first 5K, complete your first ultra, join a gym, get in shape, earn a graduate degree, or start a business. You don’t know if you can do something until you’ve done it. That uncertainty isn’t a character flaw – it’s completely normal and appropriate.
The nervousness, the bone-chilling terror? That’s your signal that you’re stepping outside your comfort zone into growth territory. Good goals should make you uncomfortable because they force you to become someone new in the process of achieving them.
When people ask about my race mantras or how I push through the really difficult moments, I always come back to this simple phrase: “You can do anything for a minute.”
It sounds almost silly, but if you string enough minutes together, you make miles. String enough miles together, and you reach your goal. The same principle applies to anything in life – focus on the work directly in front of you, not the overwhelming entirety of what you’re trying to accomplish.
You don’t run 100 miles by somehow teleporting from start to finish. You take it mile by mile, minute by minute, one step at a time.
Not every training session is going to be perfect. Some days the work just sucks – you’re unmotivated, the weather is terrible, nothing feels right. I used to think these bad days meant I was failing or unprepared.
Now I’ve reframed them completely. Those difficult training days are practice for race day reality. You’re going to be tired during your event. You’re going to be uncomfortable. Something will go wrong. By training through challenging conditions and low motivation, you’re building resilience for when it really counts.
We are the accumulation of all our good and bad days together, not just the highlight reel. Every single session – whether amazing or awful – contributes to who you become on race day.
As an exercise scientist, I’m fascinated by human capacity and what we’re truly capable of. Most of us will never be elite athletes or reach the absolute limits of human potential, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have our own edges to explore.
What I’ve discovered through ultrarunning, deadlifting 400 pounds, earning my PhD, and building my business is that your limits are much further out than you think they are. We have these preconceived notions of where we’ll break or what we can’t handle, and consistently, we surprise ourselves.
Every time you push a limit forward, you expand as a person too. I want to know what I’m made of and capable of. I only get one body and one life – I might as well use every bit of it and see what it can do.
For years, I was filled with crushing self-doubt. It defined everything I did in my early twenties. The breakthrough came when I realized that the only person questioning whether I could do these things was me.
I reached a point where I was just sick of not being on my own side, sick of not believing in myself. I recognized that the limiting narrative was one I was putting on myself – no one else was telling me I couldn’t do these things.
The solution wasn’t waiting for confidence to magically appear. It was acknowledging the self-doubt, accepting it was there, but choosing not to listen to it. Those were just thoughts, not facts. I got to decide who I actually was through my actions, not my fears.
You don’t have to run ultramarathons to do hard things in your life. Hard is relative to each person’s circumstances and goals. Maybe it’s your first 5K, joining a gym, changing careers, or having a difficult conversation.
What matters is choosing to do things that push you outside your comfort zone, things that require you to grow and become someone new in the process. The specific challenge is less important than your willingness to lean into discomfort and discover what you’re capable of.
If you’re looking for a structured way to start building physical and mental resilience, The Lyss Method programs can help you begin that journey safely and intelligently, whether you’re aiming for your first 5K or your first ultra.
For additional support in developing mental toughness through running:
The most powerful thing I’ve learned is this: you have always been capable of doing hard things. You just need to put yourself in situations that reveal that truth. The strength was there all along – you’re just getting acquainted with it.
So whatever hard thing is calling to you, whatever goal makes your stomach flutter with nervous excitement – that’s probably exactly what you should be moving toward. You’re stronger than you think, more capable than you know, and more resilient than you imagine.
You just have to give yourself the chance to find out.
Keywords: ultramarathon mental training, doing hard things, building mental toughness, overcoming self doubt, endurance mindset, ultra running lessons, personal growth through running, mental resilience training, pushing physical limits, finding inner strength
I’m Exercise Physiologist, sports nutritionist, weight lifter, and ultra runner. I am here to bring science to your training in a no-nonsense way. I have helped thousands of women crush big lifting goals, cross race finish lines, and even do both. I’m here to help you do the same!
Get the free macro calculator
